Monday, November 3, 2008

Outlaw Divorce?

In my last post about Bigotry I had a great comment by an anonymous reader who identified herself as K. I was so grateful for this comment for two reasons mainly. First this person was totally respectful and I feel sincere, and secondly it really is a great question she asked. Here is what she said in her comment.

Hey Michael,

I'm a 27 year old woman living in Orange County, CA. I'm opposed to Prop 8 however I'm trying to better understand your point of view. No worries, I'm not here for name calling or any heated arguments, etc. :) Anyway, if your true intentions are to protect marriage shouldn't you be campaigning to outlaw divorce instead of TAKING AWAY other people's rights? It doesn't make logical sense to me.


Well I think that this is a fantastic question and though it may seem a little extreme I have thought of the pros and cons if this were to actually happen and it is not a bad thought. Allow me to list them

*People would take marriage more seriously
*This would prevent "Shotgun Weddings"
*Couples would work out their differences and try to understand each other better
*Children would still have a Mom and a Dad at home

*Adultery would be more prevalent
*Couples would be forced to stay in an abusive relationship
*Children could be at risk by being in an abusive environment
*There still are "dumb" people out there who will not consider the life long consequences before entering into this union.
*My parents would still be married

Now K, if you want to understand my position on this you must understand that I am a devout Christian and my belief on marriage is that it is a institution that was designed by our Heavenly Father. The ideal marriage is a perfect plan that is used to bring God's children into this world and to establish families. I also believe that children should be raised by a mother and a father.

Now although God's plan for families is perfect, the participants are not. It is my opinion that the primary deteriorating factor in marriage is pride. As people become too proud to admit that they are in fault, too proud of their work to pay attention to their families, too proud forgive each other, and too proud in themselves. Pride, I think, can be a good thing when used correctly e.g. Being proud of children for accomplishments. However, when used unrighteously, pride will destroy people and families.

Now as for my family. I have experience with divorce in my family. My parents were divorced after being married for 18 years. I remember very well what it was like to have them both at home and I can very boldly say that a divorce was the right thing for them. I never doubted that my parents were in love. In fact a few years ago I found several letters from my Dad to my Mom written while they were in separate states working as they were courting. I saved these letters and today they are in my filing cabinet at home. These are some of the most loving and tender letters I have ever read and there is not a doubt in my mind that they were totally in love. Now over a span of 18 years things happened, hearts and values changed. I love both of my parents very much so don't expect me to go into any kind of detail about why they grew apart or what caused the divorce, I will say though that it is a good thing that they are not required to be together. Though they were very similar and in love 33 years ago, they could not be any different today.

One last point I would like to make. Proposition 8 is not taking away any rights of gay couples. Under California law, "domestic partners shall have the same rights, protection, and benefits" as married spouses (Family Code § 297.5). Proposition 8 does not take away any rights, it just restores traditional marriage.

K, Thank you so much for your great question. I hope that this response helps you understand my position on Proposition 8.


Katie said...

Well said Michael Aaron!

Bek said...

i'm upset with the outcome of prop 8 yesterday. i have many gay friends who were saddened that they are denied legal rights that any heterosexual couple has. i can see that you're very passionate about this cause and i appreciate the thought you've put into it. there are just so many good people who in my view deserve the same rights as you or me. in my opinion, what happened in the polls yesterday was a huge disappointment.